There are lots of ways to write for kids that will make them very happy and one of such ways is by writing funny poems for kids. Funny poems for kids will help the kids love reading and it is especially good for kids that you are trying to cultivate the habit of reading into them. It is also a thing of pleasure to discover that poems can also be written for kids and one of the ways of doing this very right is simply by writing funny poems for kids. It also has to be at the back of the poem writer that the poems are meant for kids and it should therefore be written in a very funny way and that is why it is best known as the funny poems for kids. Kids are always very distracted quite easily when they are bored of what is happening around them and one of the ways to keep a kid happy and concentrated is through the use of any of the funny poems for kids.

funny poems for kids

There are many ways of creating funny scenes that can be used as funny poems for kids in your mind’s eye and one of the ways that is best is by simply imagining what you used to like or what used to captivate your attention as a kid and you can then make use of such a flashback image to write the funny poems for kids. The funny poems for kids should not be written in a lengthy manner because it will make the children to get distracted quite easily. It is also a thing of great pleasure to be the one that is creating funny poems for kids in just the way that kids will love it. Reading can be fun when it is written in a fun way most especially for kids.

Funny Poems For Kids

1) I bought a Maserati

I bought a Maserati

and a new Mercedes-Benz,

plus a brand new Lamborghini

I could show off to my friends.


I purchased a Ferrari

and an Aston Martin too,

and a Porsche and a Jaguar

and a BMW.


I had them all delivered

to my mansion in the hills.

I like to sit and look at them,

imagining the thrills.


For though it’s fun to be

the richest nine-year-old alive,

I’m sure I’ll like it better

when I’m old enough to drive.


–Kenn Nesbitt

2) dog lives on the sofa

My dog lives on the sofa.

That’s where he wants to be.

He likes to sit there night and day

and watch what’s on TV.

He surfs the channels constantly

by chewing the remote,

then watches what he wants to watch;

I never get a vote.

He’s fond of films with animals.

He takes in nature shows.

Whenever cat cartoons come on

he always watches those.

He loves the pet commercials too,

and anything with food.

Whenever there’s a tennis match

he nearly comes unglued.

I got him from the dog pound.

He didn’t cost a cent.

I asked them for a “watch dog,”

but this isn’t what I meant.


–Kenn Nesbitt

3) I taught my cat

I taught my cat to clean my room,

to use a bucket, brush and broom,

to dust my clock and picture frames,

and pick up all my toys and games.


He puts my pants and shirts away,

and makes my bed, and I would say

it seems to me it’s only fair

he puts away my underwear.


In fact, I think he’s got it made.

I’m not as happy with our trade.

He may pick up my shoes and socks,

but I clean out his litterbox.


–Kenn Nesbitt

4) Basketball’s my favorite sport

Basketball’s my favorite sport.

I dribble up and down the court.

The ball goes bouncing off my toes

and beans the teacher on the nose.


He stumbles back and grabs his nose

and hits the wall and down he goes.

The other players stop and stare.

They’ve never heard the teacher swear.


With no one playing anymore,

I grab the ball. I shoot. I score.

I love this game! It’s so much fun.

The teacher cried, but, hey–we won.


–Kenn Nesbitt

5) My mom says I’m her sugarplum

My mom says I’m her sugarplum.

My mom says I’m her lamb.

My mom says I’m completely perfect

Just the way I am.

My mom says I’m a super-special wonderful terrific

Little guy.

My mom just had another baby.


6) Clouted by sprouts

Clouted by sprouts,

And harassed by carrots!

Poked by the beans,

And screamed at by salad!


Poisoned by cabbage,

And pinched by the peas!

Tripped by the spinach,

And peppered with seeds!


Hair pulled by parsnip,

And bruised by tomato!

Glared at by swede,

And thumped by potato!


Battered by beetroot,

That pinch, punch and poke!

Slapped by the onions,

And Arti, who chokes!


– Gareth Lancaster

7) Today the teacher farted

Today the teacher farted,

It was an awful smell.

It was just like a rotting egg,

Straight from the depths of Hell!


She tried to keep it secret,

By sitting in a group.

But it was really obvious,

When she said, “Who did that poop?”


She screwed her bright, red face up,

And blamed it all on Claire.

But later when I needed help,

The stench was round her chair!


She avoided my eye contact,

And ticked my work in green.

But she knew that her body smells,

Were foul and quite obscene.


I asked her what that smell was,

She said she’d not a clue.

I hope to God that eggy smell,

Was fart and not a poo!


Today the teacher farted,

My word, what had she ate?

I’ll always remember what she did,

And now I’m thirty eight!

8) My next door neighbor is a witch

My next door neighbor is a witch,

And she lives way down in a ditch.

Her clothing is a little strange,

Because she never wants to change.

She has a black robe and a black hat,

Green skin and a smelly black cat.

A big fat wart grows on her nose,

And seventeen pimples on her toes.


But…her food is EVEN worse,

because she eats it course by course.

Her first course is seven dead bats,

Laid on top of seven rats.

Then she has twenty flies

With lots and lots of llama eyes.

Her main course is a horrible soup,

Because it’s made with doggie poop.

But worst of all is her dessert,

It’s little children rolled in dirt.


Last night she had a witch’s feast,

And turned into a greedy beast.

I think she cooked my best friend Tilly,

And ate her with some peas and broccoli.


That scared me most of all!

9) A huge obnoxious dinosaur

A huge obnoxious dinosaur,

Just barged its way through our front door!

It didn’t knock or ring the bell,

Just crashed right in to where we dwell!

It snarled and snorted ‘cross the hall,

Stood on (and burst!) my brand new ball.

It shook the paintings off their hooks,

And threw my dad some evil looks!

It tramped right in to our front room,

And left a smelly stench of doom!

It circled round and round the chairs,

Whilst we all stood and said our prayers!

With creaking weight it then sat down,

The chair collapsed, my mum did frown.

The dinosaur with eyes bright red,

Then slowly turned its ugly head!

“I’ve had enough,” it gave a growl,

It sighed and sank, its face a scowl.

“I really tried! I’m in distress!

I didn’t win the fancy dress!”


– Gareth Lancaster

10) I hear eating

I hear eating.

I hear drinking.

I hear music.

I hear laughter.

Fun is something

Grownups never have

Before my bedtime.

Only after.


– Judith Viorst

11) My sister Stephanie’s in love

My sister Stephanie’s in love.

(I thought she hated boys.)

My brother had a yard sale and

Got rid of all his toys.

My mother started jogging, and

My dad shaved off his beard.

It’s spring — and everyone but me

Is acting really weird.

12) I’m learning to say thank you

I’m learning to say thank you.

And I’m learning to say please.

And I’m learning to use Kleenex,

Not my sweater, when I sneeze.

And I’m learning not to dribble.

And I’m learning not to slurp.

And I’m learning (though it sometimes really hurts me)

Not to burp.

And I’m learning to chew softer

When I eat corn on the cob.

And I’m learning that it’s much

Much easier to be a slob.

13) My brother’s not a werewolf

My brother’s not a werewolf

though it often looks that way.

He has to shave his whiskers

almost every single day.


His feet are getting furry

and his hands are sprouting hair.

His voice is deep and growling

like a grumpy grizzly bear.


He often sleeps throughout the day

and stays up half the night.

And if you saw the way he eats

you’d surely scream in fright.


His clothes are ripped and dirty

like the stuff a werewolf wears.

His socks and shirts are shredded

and his pants have countless tears.


If you should ever meet him

you’ll discover what I mean.

My brother’s not a werewolf;

he’s just turning seventeen.


–Kenn Nesbitt

14) My teacher ate my homework

My teacher ate my homework,

which I thought was rather odd.

He sniffed at it and smiled

with an approving sort of nod.


He took a little nibble —

it’s unusual, but true —

then had a somewhat larger bite

and gave a thoughtful chew.


I think he must have liked it,

for he really went to town.

He gobbled it with gusto

and he wolfed the whole thing down.


He licked off all his fingers,

gave a burp and said, “You pass.”

I guess that’s how they grade you

when you’re in a cooking class.


–Kenn Nesbitt

15) Mother doesn’t want a dog

Mother doesn’t want a dog.

Mother says they smell.

And never sit when you say sit,

Or even when you yell.

And when you come home late at night

And there is ice and snow,

You have to go back out because

The dumb dog has to go.


Mother doesn’t want a dog.

Mother says they shed,

And always let the strangers in

And bark at friends instead,

And do disgraceful things on rugs,

And track mud on the floor,

And flop upon your bed at night

And snore their doggy snore.


Mother doesn’t want a dog.

She’s making a mistake.

Because, more than a dog, I think

She will not want this snake.

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